Better Off Alone?
by MelissaIsLame
Summary: What happens when Clare starts to doubt herself and her relationship with Eli? TWO-SHOT, NOW COMPLETE!
1. Goodbye To You

**Author's Note: This idea has been swimming around in my head for over three months already! I'm gonna be straight forward with you, it's sad :( That's one of the main reasons why I didn't type it up, but then today, I dunno..I just typed it up.**

**PS- This story is gonna be in a 3rd person POV. The song _"Goodbye to You" by Michelle Branch_ was my inspiration for this. If you haven't heard this song, I suggest you listen to it. It's a good song, yet sad.**

**Thursday Night**

Clare Edwards sat on her fiance's bed, fidgeting with the simple silver band on her ring finger. In three months, she would soon be _'Mrs. Clare Goldsworthy'._ She loved Eli with all of heart, but something felt off to her. She fell in love while they attended Degrassi High and despite what everyone said, Eli and Clare stayed together. They had their ups and downs, but they always fought through it and remained a couple.

It was nearing midnight and Eli was still at work. After graduating college, Clare took some time off while Eli went straight into work. Everyone thought Eli would end up working for some music company, but it didn't pay what he thought it would. Construction, on the other hand, payed enough money so that Clare wouldn't have to find a job. Even though Clare protested against Eli and said she wanted to work, Eli wouldn't let her. Clare didn't feel like arguing with him, so she caved and became a _'stay at home fiance'. _

Clare glanced at the clock again, hoping that time would've sped up, but it was only 12:10AM. She sighed, crawled over to her side of the bed and reached into her night stand. She pulled out a single plane ticket that would be leaving tomorrow at 10PM. Eli and Clare each had their own night stand, so Clare didn't worry about him finding the ticket.

"What happened to me?" Clare mumbled to herself. "I used to be so independent and now look at me. I'm depending on a man to bring in the money. Next thing you know, he's going to expect me to be a _'stay at home mom'." _

A few silent tears rolled down Clare's cheek as she heard the front door open and shut. She quickly shoved the plane ticket back in the night stand, grabbed a pair of pajamas and hurried into the bathroom.

"Clare? Babe, you still awake?" she heard Eli question as he walked up the stairs.

"Y-Yeah. Just changing into my pajamas. I'll be right out." Clare responded.

Clare studied herself in the bathroom mirror and noticed her eyes were slightly red. As she waited for the sink to slowly fill with warm water, she took this time to change. She peeled off her jeans and floral shirt as slowly as she could and picked up her PJ's. She pulled the small, black spaghetti strap shirt over her head and pulled it down. She then grabbed her dark gray shorts and put one leg in right after the other.

After done being dressed, she turned to the sink and shut off the water. Clare took a deep breath and submerged her head. She opened her eyes under the water and after twenty seconds, she came up. She rubbed the slight sting that started to form in her eyes and calmed her breathing. Once it was even again, she submerged her head once again. She only stayed there for about ten seconds before she came back up. She grabbed a small towel and pat dried her face. She smiled to herself as she noticed the red was no longer there.

Just as Eli was about to knock on the bathroom door, Clare opened it.

"Hey. It's about time you finished up." Eli smirked as he gently kissed her lips.

"Sorry about that. I had to wash my face." Clare half smiled.

"No worries. Come on, let's get to bed. I'm tired." Eli yawned as he dragged Clare towards the bed.

Clare obliged and crawled under the covers as Eli turned off the lights. Clare smiled as she watched Eli walk towards the bed. The only light source in the room was that of the moon shining in through the window. Eli strutted over in his black and green plaid pajama pants and no shirt on. He slowly crawled over Clare and made his way up to her face. He placed another kiss on her lips, only this one was not so gentle. He slid his tongue across her bottom lip begging for entrance. When she gasped, he quickly slid his tongue in and explored her mouth. Clare groaned a little when Eli put more of his weight onto her. As she pulled away to catch her breath, Eli took this opportunity to attack her neck. He knew of her vampire fetish, so he knew she had no problem with biting. When he gently nipped at her neck and collar bone, he slid his hand under her shirt. He ghosted his fingertips over her stomach and felt her shiver.

"I thought you said you were tired." Clare whispered.

"I..am." Eli said between kisses. "I just had to kiss my wonderful fiance before bed."

Clare felt Eli smirk into the final kiss and then he rolled off of her onto his side. Once Eli was comfortable, he pulled Clare so that her back was flat against his chest. She couldn't help but think that something was still wrong. She knew she loved him, but there was a little voice in the back of her mind telling her to leave.

"I love you, Clare Edwards." Eli mumbled.

Clare waited a few moments before responding. "I love you, too, Eli Goldsworthy."

* * *

**Friday Afternoon**

Clare was pacing back and forth in the living room. Her mind kept flashing back to all the _'I love you's' _her and Eli shared, then to the plane ticket that still resided in her night stand. She knew she had to to this, but she was terrified. Just thinking about leaving was breaking her heart, but it needed to be done. She had to figure herself out before she officially took Eli's last name. Clare pulled out her cell phone and dialed someone she hadn't spoken to in quite a few months.

After four rings, someone picked up.

"_Hello?"_

"Hey. I know this is totally unexpected, but I need you right now!" Clare stated quickly.

"_Is everything alright?"_

"No. Just please, come see me at Eli's apartment. It's really important." Clare was on the verge of tears already.

"_Okay, okay. I'm on my way."_

Without saying goodbye, Clare hung up her phone and waited. Not even ten minutes later, there was a knock on the door. Clare quickly scrambled over to the door and flung it open.

"Alli! I'm so glad you came." Clare sobbed as she pulled Alli into a hug.

"Of course I came, Clarebear. Now tell me, whose ass do I have to kick." Alli joked.

When Alli saw that Clare didn't even chuckle, she became serious. Clare turned around and walked over to the sofa. Alli took a seat next to Clare and waited for her to speak.

"I..I can't do this." Clare sighed.

"Do what?" Alli asked.

"This!" Clare stated as she pointed around the apartment. "I can't be here with Eli. I love him, but if I depend on him for everything, what kind of person would I be?"

Alli sat quietly, unsure of how to answer Clare's question. "Look, Clare. I know you love Eli and Eli loves you, but if you really can't do this, then leave. There's no use in staying in a relationship if you're not happy."

Through all the tears that were falling, Clare weakly smiled at her friend. "My plane leaves at 10 tonight. Help me pack?"

"What? You're actually leaving, leaving? I thought you were just leaving the relationship, not town or anything!" Alli said as she quickly stood up.

"I have to, Alli. Just please have faith in me. I need to get away from everything. I'm coming back, don't worry. Just..." Clare stopped to think a bit. "You have to let me go."

Alli soon started to cry, but sadly nodded her head in agreement. If this is what Clare wanted, she would have to let her do it.

As the girls were packing Clare's clothes into a suitcase, Alli decided to speak up.

"So, I guess Eli isn't going to find out about anything until you're actually gone." Alli sniffled.

"Kind of. I'm going to write him a letter. If I were to tell him in person, he'd beg me to stay and I'd give in. He still has that effect on me from high school. I just melt when I'm near him. I still love him, but I need some time to think." Clare said while she packed some of her necessities.

"I guess that's fair enough." Alli agreed.

While Alli searched for more of Clare's belongings, Clare took out a pen, a piece of paper and started to write.

* * *

**Friday Night**

Eli walked up to his apartment with a bouquet of white roses. Since it was a Friday night, the boss let everyone go early and he thought it'd be a nice surprise for Clare. As he opened the front door, he noticed all the lights were shut off. He figured Clare went out with a friend, so he thought he'd just wait downstairs for her to get home. He walked into the kitchen and flipped on the light switch. As he layed the roses on the counter top, he noticed an envelope with his name written on it. He pulled up a stool, opened the envelope and started to read:

_Dear Elijah,_

_First of all, don't panic, I'm okay. I just want you to know that I really love you. Even though everyone doubted our relationship, we proved them all wrong and stayed strong. These past few years have meant so much to me, you have no idea. Before you ever attended the same school as me, I was with KC. Yeah, you know the story, so there's no need for me to explain that. Anyway, after the breakup, I changed. I no longer needed a guys approval and I did things that made ME happy. After a couple of months of taking care of me, you showed up. You turned my whole world upside down. Me and you became close and we let each other in on all of our secrets. I was happy to help you with your problems and I'm very grateful that you were there for me when I needed you. I know our wedding is only a few months away, but I can't...I can't do this._

Eli felt his heart shatter into a million pieces as he read that line. A few silent tears rolled down his cheek and he quickly wiped them away to continue on reading.

_I'm so, so sorry for doing this. I really do love you, but I need to figure myself out again. After you, I changed all over again. Instead of changing for the better, I changed for the worse. I was worried that I would make a wrong decision and scared to upset you. I was constantly thinking of making decisions that would make YOU happy and not me. I forgot all about me and that's not who I am. Please don't worry about me. Alli helped me out today and I promise one day, I'll be back. I'm not sure when, but I will come back. Once again, I'm so, so sorry! I love you._

The letter fell from Eli's hands and landed on the floor. He ran up to their bedroom and made his way to the closet. Sure enough, all of Clare's clothes were gone. More tears started to fall and Eli sat on the bed. He placed his head in his hands and sobbed. He was crying not only because Clare left, but because this was mostly his fault. If he would've let Clare do some things she wanted to, she'd be happy and still be here with him. Right before Eli completely broke down, his cell phone rang. He quickly pulled it out of his pocket and answered.

"Hello! Clare, is this you?"

"_No man. It's me, Adam. What happened. Alli just showed up crying over here. What happened to Clare?"_

"She left. I don't know where. She just left."

Eli heard someone mumble on the other side of the line and tried to listen more clearly.

"_Eli? I'm so sorry. I know you love her, but she made help her. I didn't want her to leave, but she insisted."_

"It's okay, Alli. Just please..tell me where you took her."

It was quiet for a few moments and then Alli answered.

"_The airport. She's leaving for Texas at 10."_

Eli looked at the clock and saw that it read 9:45PM.

"Thank you, Alli. I owe you."

Before Alli could respond, Eli shut his phone and ran out to Morty. The nearest airport wasn't that far from his apartment. He prayed that this airport was the one that Clare was at. As Morty sped up to the parking lot, he threw Morty into park and jumped out. He ran as fast as he could into the airport and stopped when he reached the waiting area. He scanned the seats, hoping Clare's flight hadn't boarded yet. There were too many people seated, that Eli didn't think he'd find her in time.

"_**Flight 208 to Texas, please make your way to Gate D.**_ **_Flight 208 to Texas, Gate D, please."_** The lady over the intercom stated.

Eli's heart started to beat faster as he saw two people stand up. One was an older woman and the other was Clare. She picked up a small bag and flung it over her shoulder. Eli ran towards her and stopped right in front of her.

"Eli! What are you doing here?" she asked. Her eyes were red and puffy from crying all day.

"I'm here to take you home. Please don't do this." Eli pleaded as his eyes once again started to water.

"I have to." Clare said as she looked down.

"No. No you don't. I'm sorry I've been a selfish ass. You can go get a job, you can do anything. Just please don't leave." He said now that his tears were falling freely.

Clare half-smiled as she placed her bag on an empty chair. She placed her hands on each side of his face and wiped away his tears. He looked down on her with hope filling his eyes. She reached up on her tiptoes and placed a kiss on his forehead.

"Goodbye." she simply stated.

Clare quickly turned around, grabbed her bag and walked down the darkened tunnel.

_Of all the things I believed in,_

_I just wanna get it over with._

_Tears form behind my eyes, but I do not cry_

_counting the days that pass me by. _

_I've been searching deep down in my soul,_

_words that I'm hearing are starting to get old._

_It feels like I'm starting all over again,_

_the last three years were just pretend_

_and I said, Goodbye to you..._

_Goodbye to everything that I knew,_

_You were the one I loved,_

_the one thing that I tried to hold on to..._

**Ahh! Don't hurt me. This was intended to make you sad/cry. If you cried or got sad, I've done my job! Everyone is always writing about Eli being the one to leave Clare, so yeah. Clare leaves Eli in this one. Be honest with me, is this really that terrible? Also, I'm going to mark this as complete, but if you guys want me to make this into a [TWO-SHOT], let me know. I already have an idea for the second chapter, but I want your opinion.**

**REVIEW AND LET ME KNOW! :)**


	2. Meteor Shower

**Author's Note: You all wanted this! You got it! This chapter is dedicated to: lovingyou333, MadameDegrassi1, Stained Hands, .G, gleekster98, elipassedhisfrenchexam, and a couple other people who didn't have a FF account. Also, this chapter was inspired by the song **_**'Meteor Shower' by Owl City. **_**Again, if you haven't heard this song, I suggest you go listen to it.**

Clare Edwards was feeling refreshed. She had a cousin down in Texas, so that's where Clare was currently staying. Her cousin had her own little family to take care of, so Clare thought it was only fair if she found a job and helped around the house. Her cousin didn't object and was glad to see Clare pull her own weight around. It only took Clare three days to find a job in the local mall. She wasn't in mood to be in a store were it was too cheerful, so she set her sights on a store called 'Spencers'. They practically hired her on the spot.

After a couple of weeks of roaming the small Texas town called San Antonio, Clare started to feel home sick. She missed her best friends and she especially missed Eli. It also didn't help, that every time Clare got nervous, she clutched the silver chain around her neck that currently held her engagement ring. She told Alli that she would keep in touch, but as soon as she landed in Texas, she changed her phone number and deleted any social networking sites she had a profile on. If she wanted to _'find herself'_ again, she needed a fresh start with no interruptions.

**Five Months Later**

"So, Clare. I know you've been here for a while now, but you never really told me why you came down here." Clare's cousin, Jennifer, stated.

Clare sighed as she was setting the table for dinner. She knew that eventually, her cousin would ask this. As she set the last plate on the table, Clare took a seat and motioned for Jennifer to do the same.

"Back home, life was..okay." Clare began. "I graduated college and had the best friends I could ever ask for. I'm even engaged! Or at least, I think I still am."

"Hold the phone." Jennifer interrupted. "YOU'RE ENGAGED! Where's the ring?"

Clare smiled coyly at her cousin and lifted the chain from around her neck.

"I wear it around this." Clare stated as she layed the necklace on the table.

Jennifer noticed as Clare started to tear up. She slid her chair right next to Clare and embraced her in a tight hug. She layed her head on Jennifer's shoulder and her body shook slightly with sobs. Jennifer rubbed her hands up and down Clare's back, trying to soothe her.

"If you still love him, why are you here and not there?" Jennifer questioned.

"Because..I..I needed to find myself again." Clare sniffled as she lifted her head and stared at her cousin. "Being with Eli is amazing. He does everything for me and at first it was nice, but now I need to do my own thing. He doesn't want me working, all he wants is for me to stay at home. If being with Eli is going to consist of just sitting on my butt all day, I don't think I can handle that."

Jennifer looked shocked. "Is that why you left? Clare! You're lucky to find a man like Eli. If taking care of you is what makes Eli happy, why on earth would you give that up?"

"Because it's not what makes me happy." Clare stood up from the table. "I love him, but I need to get out of the house too."

"Then talk to him about it!" Jennifer's voice started to rise. "I love you, Clarebear, but I think you made a huge mistake by leaving him to come here. If I were you, I'd get my ass back on a plane and go talk to him. Tell him how you feel and make him understand. If he truly loves you, he'll understand where you're coming from"

Clare sat back down in her chair, defeated. She knew her cousin had a point. She should've talked to him before she decided to run away.

"Ughh! I never knew life could get this complicated." Clare smirked.

"You have no idea, baby cousin, no idea." Jennifer smirked back.

**Two Days Later**

Clare was currently sitting in one of the back booths at The Dot. She ended up taking her cousin's advice and came home. She was terrified of what Eli's reaction would be, so she went to the next best thing, Alli. Alli was of course, pissed, but when Clare explained everything, Alli pulled her into a tight hug and wouldn't let go. Alli gave her a place to stay and kept quiet, making sure that no-one knew Clare was back in town. After all, she did owe Clare for spilling the beans to Eli about her leaving.

She had the book_ 'Speak' _opened up on the table in front of her and glasses perched on top of her head. She picked up her book again and continued to read. She lost track of time, but knew she had been there for a couple of hours when new waiters started to make their round around the small place.

"Baby Edwards? Long time, no see!" a familiar voice broke into Clare's reading time.

She glanced up to see the intruder. "Peter! Hi."

Peter chuckled and took a seat at Clare's booth. "So, where have you been? I've noticed you went MIA for a while."

"Yeah." Clare muttered. "I needed a small vacation."

"No worries." Peter assured her. "What's with the glasses? Last time I saw you, you were glasses free."

"Oh. They were a parting gift from my co-workers in Texas. They said I looked good in black framed glasses." Clare giggled. "They're not prescribed. Just for show. See?" Clare lowered the glasses onto her face.

"Ahh, yes I see." Peter laughed. "Well, it was nice catching up, but I should get back to work."

"Yeah, I understand. I'll talk to you another time." Clare waved Peter off.

Clare got back into reading her book and occasionally, Peter would stop by and refill her Tea. Off in the distance, Clare heard the bell above the door jingle, but decided to ignore it. She figured since she's been away for a while, no one would expect to find her here and go about their usual routine. She was about to finish off another chapter when she felt someone throw themselves in the seat across from her.

"Well, well. If it isn't Ms. Edwards. Please, tell me, what brings you back into town." a familiar voice asked.

Clare immediately knew who it was once they started to speak. She gently layed her book down and smiled.

"Well hello, Adam. Nice to see you here..."

"Cut the crap and explain. Why are you back?" Adam interrupted.

Clare was caught off guard with his sudden change of tone. She wanted to snap back at him, but then it dawned on her that he had every right to be angry. She never bid him farewell. She just left and never looked back.

"I..I missed you guys." Clare started. "I'm pretty sure Eli let you read the letter, so please don't be angry. I really needed to get away."

Adam's tone softened as he reached across the table and held onto Clare's hands. "Yeah. I know why. Sorry for snapping, seeing you just kind of hurt, I guess. We all were going crazy with no way to get a hold of you."

Clare wiped away a few tears that had started to fall. "I'm sorry. For everything. I didn't mean to hurt anyone. How's Eli doing?"

Adam's eyes squinted as he looked at Clare. "You mean, you haven't talked to him yet?"

"No. Just Alli. I'm afraid he's going to be upset." Clare sniffled.

"I'm going to be honest. He took it hard once you left. He ended up turning to alcohol in order to drown his sorrows." Adam sighed before he continued. "Drew, Alli and I would all spend the night at his apartment and make sure he didn't do anything stupid. Alli convinced him that you'd be back one day and she helped him get sober again."

"Wow." Clare breathed. "Alli didn't mention that to me."

"That's because Eli promised her not to. He didn't want you to know he suffered." Adam mumbled. "Speak of the devil.."

Clare's head shot up as she heard the bell jingle, signaling someone had walked in through the door. Her eyes landed at the figure standing in the doorway. Eli. Adam cleared his throat awkwardly and excused himself from the booth. Clare nodded at Eli and motioned for him to take a seat. Eli obliged and sat.

"So.." Clare started.

"So.." Eli mimicked.

Eli and Clare had never experienced an awkward silence, so this was new to them. After a few more minutes, Eli spoke up.

"I take it you figured out what you needed to?" He questioned as he continued to stare at the table.

"Yes. I did." Clare stated. "I found me again and I'm happy."

"If what you found in Texas made you happy, then why bother coming back here." Eli asked coldly.

Clare was taken back by his sudden coldness. Not once had Eli ever been mean towards her. She felt tears threatening to fall, but instead of being vulnerable, she got up and walked out.

She walked down the sidewalk, not caring where she ended up. She was about a block away when she noticed Eli's hearse parked by the street. She smiled remembering all the good times her and Eli had. The many road trips, picnics, and all the times Morty broke down stranding them in the middle of no where. She heard footsteps approaching and then they suddenly came to a halt. It could only be one person.

"I came back because I love you. Always have and always will." Clare spoke up. "My cousin made me realize that I, not once, ever stopped loving you. She also said that if you loved me like you say you do, that you would want me to be happy. I'm happiest when I'm with you, but also the saddest because you want me cooped up in the apartment."

She turned around to face Eli, who now had tears starting to silently fall. "I'm just scared that you're going to find someone else out there. You're going to find a job you absolutely love and another person who shares that same interest." Eli said.

Clare closed the gap between them and pulled him into a tight hug. She nuzzled her face in the crook of his neck and whispered, "You're my forever, Eli. I promise you that."

Eli pulled back, grinning from ear to ear. "I'm holding you to that, Edwards."

Clare chuckled as Eli pulled her back into the hug. "I'm sorry I put you through all this mess." Clare mumbled. "I just wish we could start over and forget this ever happened."

Eli was suddenly hit with an amazing idea. She might punch him, but it would be worth it. Eli pulled Clare to a nearby bench and told her to sit. He gently pulled her glasses, which she was still wearing, off her face and threw them into the road.

"Eli, what are you doing?" Clare laughed.

Without answering Clare, he jumped into Morty and started him up. A few seconds later, there was a semi loud _CRUNCH!_ Eli jumped back out of Morty and picked up the now damaged glasses.

"I think they're dead." Eli said while he handed Clare her glasses.

Clare chuckled, remembering the first day her and Eli met. "It's okay."

_I can finally see, that you're right there beside me._

_I am not my own, for I have been made new._

_Please don't let me go, I desperately need you!_

**Well? Good enough for you? Of course I was going to give them a happy ending :) What kind of person would I be if I didn't? Anyway, for some reason, I'm really proud of this story. Thank you for those of you readers who actually read my stuff and review. You guys motivate me to continue on writing.**

**PLEASE REVIEW! :)**


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